Category: Celebrity

Here’s the latest celebrities boarding the 747 to oblivion.  Only three at the moment but there will be a second lot going through passport control over the weekend.

Seat #13: Tom Cruise (aka Thomas Cruise Mapother IV)

I’m kind of tired of Tom Cruise and I particularly dislike his vocal support of the cult Scientology.  His career has been financially successful but has he really done anything worth watching since Top Gun?  No.  That’s over 20 years of drivel and he gets a seat on that basis alone.

Now, the Scientology thing.  I’m not a fan of cults and I don’t think someone in the public eye should be trying to get the weak and vulnerable to part with their cash.  And, I’m also tired of being offered a free stress test by Scientology cult members every time I walk down Tottenham Court Road.

Worse than the homeless begging for skag money.

A huge response to the first week of Celebrity 747 saw over 45 names thrown into the mixer….whilst some are obviously very irritating, notably the likes of Paris and Lindsay….we like to think that they are a given…they may even end up piloting the plane, so for now they can wait for a barren week of check-ins!
The celebrities making their way down the air walk this week are. . . . .
Seat #7: Ulrika Jonsson


What can I say…..anyone who stands by their man after a public beating in a Paris Bar during the 1998 World Cup deserves to board this flight…….also involved in Svengate….that Swedish Bizarre Love triangle, whilst doing little for this talentless Swede, cost another one the biggest job in football….what a turnip!

The time has come to check in our first 6 so-called celebrities onto flight CLB100, the celebrity 747 that we all want to see filled up and crashed into the side of a big mountain.

There will be no seatbelts, oxygen masks, emergency lighting or big inflatable slides.  We really want to make sure they are going down with the plane and not surviving like they did on that film Alive.

The celebrities making their way to check in and through security this week are. . . . .

Seat #1: Amy Winehouse

Further to an earlier article, it would appear that Kylie’s PR team saw our news and have responded saying that Kylie will not marry.  Here’s the full article from SuperiorPics.com. . . . . .

KYLIE MINOGUE will not announce her engagement to on/off lover Olivier Martinez during a live concert, according to the event’s organisers.

Media outlets in the Czech Republic have been speculating the Spinning Around hitmaker will announce the news at a concert in Prague on 12 May (08) - because she asked for an “unusually high” number of tickets for family and friends.

However, concert organiser Jarda Hainzel insists she has been misquoted.

A Czech website is claiming that Kylie Minogue will announce her marriage to French love rat Olivier Martinez at a concert in Prague on May 12th.

There’s another nude celebrity photo scandal coming our way. . .

New mother and all round annoying celebrity, Geri Halliwell (aka Ginger Spice of Spice Girl fame) is livid about a set of nude photos to be published in the June 08 edition of Hustler magazine. 

The pictures show Geri as a teenager posing in nothing but fishnet stockings.

Better make sure immigration are on full alert, the skag monkey Courtney Love wants to move to England.

Reported earlier today on Starpulse News:

“Rocker Courtney Love is desperate to flee her hectic lifestyle in “dirty” Los Angeles and set up home in the English countryside. She has previously house-hunted in the British capital and even viewed Kate Moss’ north London apartment, but pulled out of the $7 million deal after deciding it was not for her.

The former Hole singer, 43, claims the U.K. is a much healthier place to bring up her daughter with late Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain, 15-year-old Frances Bean, and has been viewing properties in the country for several months with the hope of finding a permanent home.

Born on November 18th 1960 in Chiswick, West London, Kim was one of the hottest UK pop acts of the 1980’s.

Her debut 1981 song ‘Kids in America’ was followed by a mulitude of hits such as the super-smash ‘You keep me hanging on’.  

So another celebrity caught with a sex tape…..

Is it Kristin Davis? Well, she is the only one who really knows. Nevertheless Escapework.net is firmly in the belief that this is Miss Davis….have a look for yourself as Escapework.net has got a hold of a copy of the shot.

Escapework.net brings you another first….

Cast your mind’s eye back to your childhood… for most people on this site’s demographic that will be the 1980’s or 1990’s,  or if you are a little older, maybe even if the 1970’s.

Remember when certain people were on top of their game…. top of the singles charts and all over the TV. They would be the kind of people who if they existed back then, would have been all over the gossip rags.