Category: Annoying

Here’s the latest celebrities boarding the 747 to oblivion.  Only three at the moment but there will be a second lot going through passport control over the weekend.

Seat #13: Tom Cruise (aka Thomas Cruise Mapother IV)

I’m kind of tired of Tom Cruise and I particularly dislike his vocal support of the cult Scientology.  His career has been financially successful but has he really done anything worth watching since Top Gun?  No.  That’s over 20 years of drivel and he gets a seat on that basis alone.

Now, the Scientology thing.  I’m not a fan of cults and I don’t think someone in the public eye should be trying to get the weak and vulnerable to part with their cash.  And, I’m also tired of being offered a free stress test by Scientology cult members every time I walk down Tottenham Court Road.

Worse than the homeless begging for skag money.

We’re all aware of the T5 and British Airways shambles of the last week or so and how their combined incompetence has left thousands of people miserable.  We have a first hand account (and a justified rant) from friend of escapework.net, Sally.

Enjoy. . . .

“Yes indeed, I can safely say it was indeed first hand… We witnessed the queues of people at cash machines because, quelle une grande surprise.. they’d forgotten to set up the phone links to the card machines in the shops, the lifts not working, all the escalators going in one direction (in the convenient direction of all the super expensive shops I might add).

The time has come to check in our first 6 so-called celebrities onto flight CLB100, the celebrity 747 that we all want to see filled up and crashed into the side of a big mountain.

There will be no seatbelts, oxygen masks, emergency lighting or big inflatable slides.  We really want to make sure they are going down with the plane and not surviving like they did on that film Alive.

The celebrities making their way to check in and through security this week are. . . . .

Seat #1: Amy Winehouse

There’s another nude celebrity photo scandal coming our way. . .

New mother and all round annoying celebrity, Geri Halliwell (aka Ginger Spice of Spice Girl fame) is livid about a set of nude photos to be published in the June 08 edition of Hustler magazine. 

The pictures show Geri as a teenager posing in nothing but fishnet stockings.

Better make sure immigration are on full alert, the skag monkey Courtney Love wants to move to England.

Reported earlier today on Starpulse News:

“Rocker Courtney Love is desperate to flee her hectic lifestyle in “dirty” Los Angeles and set up home in the English countryside. She has previously house-hunted in the British capital and even viewed Kate Moss’ north London apartment, but pulled out of the $7 million deal after deciding it was not for her.

The former Hole singer, 43, claims the U.K. is a much healthier place to bring up her daughter with late Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain, 15-year-old Frances Bean, and has been viewing properties in the country for several months with the hope of finding a permanent home.

….Calling all passengers, calling all passengers.

This is the first call for Flight CLB100 to Anonymity. Will any passengers with special needs ….[oh wait, that is all 385 of them]…  please make themselves known to the Escapework.net stewards at the departure gate.

The flight we have all been waiting for …

The Sun has reported today that pregnant waste of space Kerry Katona has checked into the Priory.  She was feeling “a little down”. 

Allegedly, the low level celebrity’s husband was having an affair (well, do you blame him?) and she needed to get away from the press and …

Oh my.  What the hell is going on here?  Look at the state of her. I would love to blame it on LA living, but Posh somehow managed to turn into that before she left the UK.

Does anyone know when she plans to start eating again?  I’m reluctant to …

I’m not yet sure who’s going to be flying the plane but I sure know I hate this loser.  Mediocre talent, maximum waste of space.

Maybe Winehouse won’t make the pilot’s seat but she will be on the plane.  I feel that this won’t be the last time we …