Celebrities Heading to Oblivion
Filed Under: Annoying, Celebrity, Celebrity 747, Featured
Here’s the latest celebrities boarding the 747 to oblivion. Only three at the moment but there will be a second lot going through passport control over the weekend.
Seat #13: Tom Cruise (aka Thomas Cruise Mapother IV)
I’m kind of tired of Tom Cruise and I particularly dislike his vocal support of the cult Scientology. His career has been financially successful but has he really done anything worth watching since Top Gun? No. That’s over 20 years of drivel and he gets a seat on that basis alone.
Now, the Scientology thing. I’m not a fan of cults and I don’t think someone in the public eye should be trying to get the weak and vulnerable to part with their cash. And, I’m also tired of being offered a free stress test by Scientology cult members every time I walk down Tottenham Court Road.
Worse than the homeless begging for skag money.
Bye bye Tom. We would have offered you more legroom but I don’t think you need it.
Seat #14: Naomi Campbell
What does Naomi do these days? She used to be a model but is she not too old for that now? She had a crap book written for her back in 1994 but hasn’t really done anything else.
Well, she seems to have acquired a taste for assault on assistants, housekeepers and other people around her. In fact, the biggest section on her Wiki page lists her various acts of violence and associated arrests. What a loser.
It’s a good job this isn’t a BA flight - she is banned globally. Welcome on board. Play nice.
Seat #15: Mariah Carey
Many people rate her voice and her songs but I’ve never liked her. Completely up her own arse and, as pointed out on a comment the other week, she wears clothes that are too small for her chubby figure.
Oh, and she made a pathetic attempt at suicide but got some column inches out of it.
Please don’t sing during take-off. You’ll screw with the navigation system.
We’ll keep the list updated on the Celebrity 747 page. If you have any comments or suggestions leave them below.
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Ashley | Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
is that a beaver I can see?
Michelle | Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
lol. Britany is that you? No wait, it’s Mariah Carefree. Vomit.
Lucinda | Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
That is so Mariah’s beaver and I for one am disgusted. Why can these stupid women not remember their underwear in the morning?? For Christ’s sake, they have an assistant for everything else, surely they can remember underwear??!!
I need to know when Jolie is boarding, get her a seat quickfast!! That woman is soooooo annoying, why is she all high and mighty now, SHE DID BILLY BOB, DOES NO ONE REMEMBER THAT???? She also did her brother! Row A please!
The Olsen twins should also be awarded a seat for crimes against fashion and good taste.
Lucinda | Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
I would also like to nominate the surgeon who keeps topping up Kylie Minogue’s botox…I know the woman has battled the big C so if she can beat that she can beat a few wrinkles…..everyone loves Kyles so let’s keep her but put the person who keeps making her appear wax-like on the plane…..(far fetched I know but he/she should pay for ruining Kylie’s looks!)
Bob | Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
I think you should get Lucinda a job at the check-in desk, I reckon she’d get alot of pleasure out of it! Glad to see those three on the list, couldn’t Cruise sit on Mariah’s knee? He’s only small and we could have one extra in there…
Paul | Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
Lucinda definitely has a talent. I reckon before long she’ll be covering check-in, passport control and closing the door of the plane (from the outside!)
Grobianus | Apr 21, 2008 | Reply
So Tom made the list, and in record time. Of course if Scientology is correct this won’t be his first 747 ride into oblivion. As for Naomi, let’s see if this is one flight she can make without incident.
Baldo | Apr 22, 2008 | Reply
Vote 1 for “Fanny” Minogue, get her on board and giver her a real job. Can anyone tell me what Fanny’s occupation actually is? Is she a singer? Entertainer? or just plain Waster?
Ashley | Apr 23, 2008 | Reply
Fanielle
HATER | Jun 29, 2008 | Reply
DONT BE MAD YOUR PUSSY DOESNT LOOK THAT GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!
joe | Jul 6, 2008 | Reply
C’MON!!
IT’S A FAKE. DON’T BE STUPID.
I mean if mariah carey go out without a slip, the newspapers will not stop to write about it!!!!
PaulDM | Jul 6, 2008 | Reply
ja | Jul 10, 2008 | Reply
DON”T HATE
anonymus | Jul 11, 2008 | Reply
I CAN’T BELIVE!! I SEE HER PUSSY!!!
anonymus | Jul 11, 2008 | Reply
SUMMER WHEN IS VERY HOT, SO I THINK TAT’S THE REASON
p | Jul 14, 2008 | Reply
take it off