Now Boarding at gate 32……

A huge response to the first week of Celebrity 747 saw over 45 names thrown into the mixer….whilst some are obviously very irritating, notably the likes of Paris and Lindsay….we like to think that they are a given…they may even end up piloting the plane, so for now they can wait for a barren week of check-ins!

The celebrities making their way down the air walk this week are. . . . .

Seat #7: Ulrika Jonsson

What can I say…..anyone who stands by their man after a public beating in a Paris Bar during the 1998 World Cup deserves to board this flight…….also involved in Svengate….that Swedish Bizarre Love triangle, whilst doing little for this talentless Swede, cost another one the biggest job in football….what a turnip!

Seat #8: Jade Goody

 

If this is not the dumbest and most despised person in England, then WE want to know who is….. a resident of 2 Big Brother houses, Goody has shown us her “Kebab”, illustrated a blatant disregard for basic Geography (East ANGULAR anyone) and also aired us her racist views on primetime national TV.

Quite simply a joke.

In fact this is what one anonymous person had to say about her….

If you put her on telly for any other reason than reporting her death, I will turn over. If you put her in your magazine, I will frankly rifle through the alternative titles until I find one that she’s not in. Even if this means I will end up reading ‘Railway Enthusiast’ or ‘The Grocer’.

Nothing more than cannon fodder.

Seat #9: Mick Hucknall

An interesting one this one….several readers requested Big Mick….maybe it’s his irritating voice, maybe its that mop of unwieldly hair, or that he was once bitten by a badger….

I like to think it is because he is a Manc…..

Whatever it is, it is enough for us at Escapework.net….Mick, Seat 9 please.

Seat #10: Victoria Beckham

So far, one name has stood head and shoulders above the rest in sheer volume of nominations for a seat on this flight…..

Whether it be her over exposure, her constant attempts at making it solo or simply her new plastic appearance…I don’t know, but Vicky is a popular request for flight CLB100.

Thankfully for the good people of cosmopolitan Madrid, she is no longer their problem….welcome to Los Angeles Victoria, and welcome aboard…

…oh and whilst we’re on the matter of boarding, only 1 piece of Louis Vuitton baggage allowed.

Seat #11: Jordan (aka Katie Price)

Whilst many people believe she has raised her game of late, I don’t. Surely one of the most annoying people of the last decade….to be fair, she combined her minimal talent with a couple of large assets to make a big splash in tabloid Britain….we’re not fooled though Katie…

Comes from the Katona school of Partying whilst Pregnant - enough…….grab your hand luggage and get on board

 

Seat #12: Peter Andre

Someone needs to free those kids up, so if Momma’s boarding, so is Poppa bear….Whilst not too bad on his own, the public nature of their relationship has overtaken any need for Peter to resume one of the cheesiest pop careers of the 1990’s…..remember the beach splashing tackniess of the Mys-ter-errr-eerrrr-e-e-e-e-oooouuuus Girl video. I suppose that with that in mind, the relationship is a blessing.

Still, better to nip it in the bud, because when the walls to the relationship come crashing down, you know that Peter will be clamouring for the microphone again.

Best board him earlier rather than later…just in case!

We’ll keep the list updated on the Celebrity 747 page.  If you have any comments or suggestions leave them below.

More check-ins next week.